Birch Ridge Golf Course has had an ominous vibe for the past few days. The views from the fifth hole overlooking the Kenai River and Funny River Road have been at times both spectacular and terrifying. I’ve never seen anything quite like it. We’re certainly thankful for all the fire crews and emergency response teams that have contributed to the firefighting efforts. Hopefully conditions turn for the better over the weekend.

Speaking of conditions turning for the better. Early season efforts from our grass aficionados have the greens in wonderful shape by May standards. To the delight of our golfers, the eighth green will be opened for play this weekend! I know “The Exhausted Ruler” Jim Bennett will be pleased. The lovely ladies will also be happy to learn that we’re doing cosmetic work (sand and seed) on all of the women’s tee boxes.

Junior Camps at Birch Ridge Golf Course

The miniature duffers will be out for Hook-a-Kid week May 27 to 31. The Birch Ridge Golf Association Junior Camp will be held June 9 to 13. Applications are available in the pro shop or you can visit www.birchridgegolf.com and download the application. The BRGA Junior Golf Championship Tournament will take place the following week on June 19.

Old Folks Golf

The Galloping Gertie’s came out of hibernation for another riveting round of Senior v. Senior golf action. Tom “Two Step” Boedeker deftly posted a net 31 to capture Senior glory. Pat McElroy finished second, a few shots off the lead with a net 34. Darell “Cool Hand” Jelsma gets a high-five for a third-place finish after posting a 38.

Tuesday Morning Ladies League

The Tuesday Morning Ladies began play with Tanya Boedeker claiming low-net honors. Tanya’s march to victory was capped by a marvelous birdie at the third that left her competitors trembling with fear. Chiya Bazan said see-ya later to the competition en route to low gross. Chiya’s play led her group along with the “Queens of Cookies” Trena Richardson and Irma Peterson to a first-place team finish.

Thursday Night Couples

Couples play got off to a loving start last Thursday. Tom Boedeker and his lovely bride, Tanya, mastered the format en route to an easy victory. Golfers had to putt with nine different clubs and Tom has never putted better! Gary’s Electric and his partner Lori Riggs-Bishop cruised to a second-place finish. The darling duo of Dan and Linda Murphy matched Dave and Sharon Keating for Love Lantern honors.

Callaway Golf Demo Day

Callaway Golf’s John Chalmers will be hosting a demo day at Birch Ridge golf course on June 19 from 1 to 6 p.m. If you’re a golfer interested in trying the latest equipment technology from Callaway Golf this is the perfect event for you. Not only can you demo Callaway drivers, fairway woods, hybrids, irons and the like, Mr. Chalmers will help you determine which club/shaft combinations would work best for your golf swing. Mr. Chalmers is currently scheduling appointments in 20-minute intervals and time slots are filling up fast. There are just eight spots left. Call or visit the pro shop to sign up. Appointments are free!

Golf Joke of the Week

Three unmarried men were waiting to tee off when the starter walked up to them and said, “You see that beautiful blonde practicing her putting?”

“Her? Wow, she is beautiful,” they all said.

“She’s a good golfer,” he continued, “and would like to hook up with a group. None of the other groups will play with a woman. Can she play with you? She won’t hold you up, I promise.” They looked at each other and said, “Sure! She can join us.” Just as the starter said, the woman played well and kept up. It didn’t hurt that she was so easy to look at.

When they reached the 18th hole, she said that if she sank her 18-footer, she’d break 80 for the first time. “Guys, I’m so excited about breaking 80 that I have to tell you something. I had a great time playing with you. I can tell you all really love golf. I want you to know that I’m single and want to be with a man who loves golf as much as I do. If one of you guys can read this putt correctly and I make it, I’ll go home with whichever of you was right!”

All three jumped at the opportunity. The first one looked over the putt and said, “I see it breaking 10 inches left to right.” The second looked it over from all sides and said, “No, I see it breaking 8 inches right to left.”

The third man looked at the woman, looked at the ball, and said, “Pick it up. It’s good!”