New Year fades to old

The old man in the beard, 2015, has hobbled out of the picture and Baby 2016 has crawled in. Years ago, sometime after I had disposed of my diaper for the support of my figurative cane, I started wondering about how we age. When do we start changing into adults, and how do those two groups see things differently?

I jotted down some observations then, and because I haven’t been allowed to return to my swaddling days, these thoughts are still about the damage the passing years render to our bodies and minds and souls:

• Growing up is all about memory loss: We forget how to be children.

• Adults would feel a lot younger again – and more needed – if roll call were taken at work.

• Youngsters are forced to take naps and don’t want to because they suspect they will miss something. Adults want naps but are denied them because their bosses and spouses don’t want them to miss anything.

• When I was a child, I tried to color inside the lines. Often I drew borders with a black crayon around the pictures to make sure I didn’t stray. Nowadays, it would be fun to color outside the lines, but life has drawn big borders around my life and so it isn’t so easy.

• Home-schooled children get credit for perfect attendance; I managed that only in the ninth grade. But I didn’t have to take my sister to the prom.

• Parents should keep a list of everything they do for their child – every changed diaper, every 2 a.m. crying session, every school carnival, every trip to the emergency room. Then, when the child becomes a teenager and makes a demand, the parents could say, “Not until you’ve paid off this list.”

• People who grew up watching the same cartoons I did believe to this day that dogs are male, cats are female and falling off a cliff doesn’t cause permanent damage. If we’re lucky, we got over the cowboy-movie creed that kissing our horse is better than kissing a woman.

• Having grown up watching my share of Westerns, however, I am disappointed that, even in my advanced years, I have yet to meet a gold miner, a claim jumper, a land squatter, a cattle rustler, a bronc buster, a four-flusher or a town drunk (this last one, I suppose, would need to have a certificate or other credentials).

• It has been my experience that boys named Junior are angry from the start. They were born saying, “Oh, yeah?” and have never let it go.

• Adults know that electricity will find the shortest route; a child, the longest.

• Adults have to take so much medicine because candy has lost its thrill.

• Every man’s worst day is when he realizes he will never get into Cooperstown unless he pays at the door.

• This being 2016, if the voting age were lowered to 6, presidential campaigns would be a lot more fun – and certainly no worse.

Happy New Year!

Reach Glynn Moore at glynn.moore@augustachronicle.com.

More in Life

Achieving the crispy, flaky layers of golden goodness of a croissant require precision and skill. (Photo by Tresa Dale/Peninsula Clarion)
On the strawberry patch: Reaching the pinnacle of patisserie

Croissants take precision and skill, but the results can be delightful

This 1940s-era image is one of few early photographs of Cliff House, which once stood near the head of Tustumena Lake. (Photo courtesy of the Secora Collection)
Twists and turns in the history of Cliff House — Part 1

Here, then, is the story of Cliff House, as least as I know it now.

File
Minister’s Message: What’s in a name?

The Scriptures advise, “A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches.”

Visitors put on personal protective equipment before an artist talk by Dr. Sami Ali' at the Jan. 7, 2022, First Friday opening of her exhibit, "The Mind of a Healthcare Worker During the COVID-19 Pandemic," at the Homer Council on the Arts in Homer, Alaska. (Photo by Michael Armstrong/Homer News)
ER doctor’s paintings follow passage of pandemic

Dr. Sami Ali made 2019 resolution to paint every day — and then the COVID-19 pandemic hit.

Almond flour adds a nuttiness to this carrot cake topped with cream cheese frosting. (Photo by Tressa Dale/Peninsula Clarion)
On the strawberry patch: A ‘perfect day’ cake

Carrot cake and cream cheese frosting make for a truly delicious day off

File
Minister’s Message: A prayer pulled from the ashes

“In that beleaguered and beautiful land, the prayer endures.”

A copy of “The Year of Magical Thinking” by author Joan Didion is displayed on an e-reader. (Photo by Ashlyn O’Hara/Peninsula Clarion)
Off the Shelf: Didion’s “Year of Magical Thinking” is a timely study on grief

‘The last week of 2021 felt like a good time to pick up one of her books.’

Megan Pacer / Homer News
Artist Asia Freeman, third from left, speaks to visitors on Nov. 1, 2019, at a First Friday art exhibit opening at Kachemak Bay Campus in Homer.
Freeman wins Governor’s Arts Humanities Award

Bunnell Street Arts Center artistic director is one of nine honored.

Zirrus VanDevere’s pieces are displayed at the Kenai Art Center on Jan. 4, 2022. (Courtesy Alex Rydlinski)
A journey of healing

VanDevere mixes shape, color and dimension in emotional show

Traditional ingredients like kimchi, ramen and tofu are mixed with American comfort food Spam in this hearty Korean stew. (Photo by Tressa Dale/Peninsula Clarion)
On the strawberry patch: Warm up with army base stew

American soldiers introduced local cooks to some American staple ingredients of the time: Spam and hotdogs.

File
Peninsula Crime: Bad men … and dumb ones — Part 2

Here, in Part Two and gleaned from local newspapers, are a few examples of the dim and the dumb.

File
Minister’s Message: What if Christ had not been born?

It is now time to look at the work and life of Jesus Christ.