Sometimes you can do everything right, and things will still go wrong. The world is unpredictable, people are unpredictable, and no matter how diligent and disciplined you are, the truth is that control is an illusion that can never truly be achieved. So much of our realities depend upon things we have no way to orchestrate or predict, and our lives can change in a flash without our consent.

As a child of chaos, I fight every day to take and keep control over my life, but the universe chose to tear that illusion from my hands and reminded me disrespectfully that whatever power I thought I had was never real.

When I feel like I’m being pulled by the riptide, I desperately cling to things I can control for comfort. My daily routine becomes my lifeline to normalcy, and written lists and schedules give me something to clutch as I drift into the sea. I will keep a notebook this summer where I will write out my plan for each day to hold myself accountable and to serve as a journal for this very out of control time. If I commit to filling each day with obligations and just stick to the plan, I can keep myself afloat long enough to see the storm pass without drowning.

I cannot control others, and I cannot control the world, but I can control myself. I am in control of my attitude, and I will keep myself from despair, I am in control of my actions, and I will keep myself out of trouble, I am in control of my healthy habits, and I will make the best of my circumstances, no matter how disappointing. I have the power to make this time more than just a time to endure.

I write my weekly menu on the morning of my shopping day. On the list for this week is tofu stew, ground chicken lettuce wraps, and this sweet and tangy roasted spaghetti squash with a blended tomato and goat cheese sauce.

Tomato and Goat Cheese Spaghetti Squash

Ingredients:

1 spaghetti squash

2 tablespoons butter

2 cups cherry tomatoes

½ medium yellow onion

4 cloves garlic

8 ounces plain goat cheese

2-3 tablespoons olive oil

Salt and pepper to taste

1 teaspoon sugar (optional)

Directions:

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees.

Cut the spaghetti squash in half and remove the seeds.

Drizzle olive oil over the inside of the squash, season with salt, and drop in 1 tablespoons of butter in each side.

Place face down on a parchment lined baking sheet and hold.

In a separate baking dish, place your roughly chopped onion, minced garlic, goat cheese (just open the package and drop the roll in the pan), and the tomatoes.

Drizzle with olive oil and season with salt and pepper.

Place both the squash and the tomato dish in the oven at the same time.

Roast for 40 minutes then remove.

Flip the squash over and use a fork to shred the flesh into strings.

Transfer the tomato dish into a blender and blend until smooth.

Taste the sauce and season with salt and maybe a bit of sugar.

Divide the sauce in half and pour over each of the halves of the squash.

Mix until the strings are well coated.

You can serve in the skin for a fun presentation, or transfer to a plate.

Garnish with Parmesan cheese and fresh basil.