“So, are you gonna have a baby now?”
“You just don’t want to be a mom YET.”
“Oh, so you’re selfish.”
These are all real interactions I have begrudgingly responded to from people who are overly concerned with my personal choices on family planning
Family planning is the consideration of the number of children a person wishes to have, including the choice to have no children, and the age at which they wish to have them.
Over time, my responses have slowly taken on a less tolerant tone, the more these unwelcome and, quite frankly, invasive questions are asked.
“Oh, if we ever have kids, we’ll adopt”
“Oh no, my husband and I don’t want kids.”
“Absolutely not.”
This obsession with having children becomes exponentially more uncomfortable when imposed by other people, especially your elected representatives. Imagine if, God forbid, I was struggling with infertility, mental health, or a pregnancy that was not viable.
Though none of these reasons is true for me personally, it in no way invalidates my child-free status, beliefs and lifestyle.
I have never, and will never want children. I have never, and will never want to be a mom.
These facts are lost on some. The very foundation of America is the right to live your own life and make your own choices that you know to be the best for yourself, without fear of persecution. It is one of the last few strongholds that makes our country great, which is why it deeply disturbs me to see the same narrow-minded rhetoric I’ve experienced being proclaimed by our representative.
Rep. Sarah Vance’s take on childbirth is insensitive at best, and despicable at worst.
In one of her latest recently deleted Facebook posts, she states:
“Make more babies! I did my part.”
I found comfort in the company of others in the comments who shared my reaction to this. Many echoed this rhetoric: As a representative, it is her responsibility to bolster the communities she represents, including but not limited to: creating and signing legislation to support those who may want to start a family; supporting housing and employment initiatives; coming up with a solution to the lack of child care, etc.
This was only one side of the proverbial “make more babies” coin.
Others in the comments, (myself included) had a different take on what she implied in the post.
Personally, what this post led me to believe was this: Sarah Vance views people, young women specifically, who choose to not have children as “less than.” Her tone implies that having children is the only way to make a meaningful contribution to society as a woman. In our society, there are infinite ways to live a full and meaningful life that do not include having children. Her outspoken concern about Alaska’s population declining further proves where her priorities are. Elected officials such as herself must ask why the population is declining, rather than quite literally just saying “have more babies.”
Could it be that the systems that are set up for young women and families are simply not as funded as they need to be? Could it be that the cost of housing has skyrocketed, and a multi-bedroom home, like the kind you’d need to raise a family in, is no longer attainable for the average couple? My husband and I both have good jobs. We make the most we ever have, and yet, with the cost of living at an all time high, we simply cannot afford to have children, even if we wanted any.
Sarah Vance introduced H.B. 302 in 2020, a bill that would prohibit women from receiving an abortion if the health care provider detects a fetal heartbeat. This is a perfect example of Sarah Vance supporting the idea of having babies and starting a family, rather than the reality of having babies and starting a family. If our representative truly cared about women’s health and reproductive health, she never would’ve introduced this bill. She is not a medical provider.
She is not educated or well-versed in the nuances of women’s reproductive health.
In order to, as she states, “make more babies,” women have to be healthy and supported. There are countless reasons for abortion, but no reason exists that justifies politicians’ involvement in this decision.
As a young, married, 22-year-old woman, I am saddened to know that younger, more impressionable women see this rhetoric and school of thinking proclaimed by the very person elected to represent ALL of us. To proclaim so publicly that having children is equivalent to “starting a family” is saddening. A married couple is still a family. A single person and their pets is still a family. A group of friends living together is still a family.
Though now deleted, the damage from this Facebook post is not undone.
Her matter-of-fact tone in her post also dismisses the very serious and oftentimes emotionally turbulent reality that is making the decision to have children. For many people, is it not as simple as “make more babies!”
The world has changed greatly from 20 years ago wherein getting married and having children was the societal norm. And I, for one, believe that’s a good thing.
Audrey Wallace graduated from Homer High School and is currently pursuing a degree in Applied Science and Human Services through Kenai Peninsula College. She currently works at South Peninsula Hospital as a certified nursing assistant and a health unit coordinator; Audrey also worked as the communications director on the Brent for House campaign this last fall.
