Verbatim: Friendship is moving beyond first impressions

  • By Chloe Kincaid
  • Sunday, January 25, 2015 7:16pm
  • NewsSchools

Have you ever given someone a really bad first impression of you? I have, and I wished that I could do it over. But, as everyone knows, you don’t get a second chance at a first impression. First impressions are the kickstarters of a relationship, for better or for worse.

Some relationships, like acquaintances, never move past the first impression. However, the knowledge that comes with true friendship allows you to get a chance to change someone’s perception of you. Friendships are really just long term do overs. People will come to understand each other better over time. A beautiful and absolutely necessary part of friendship is that the relationship is constantly changing.

Most friendships fall apart because the participants are holding onto a false perception of each other — a previous impression. The other person had changed, but we continue to judge them based on past experiences.

Keeping an open mind and acknowledging that the person is bound to change will keep you (and them) happier. When I find out that I am wrong about something, I get pretty upset. So why would I set myself up for the trouble of learning that I didn’t know someone inside out? Accepting that everyone grows is an important step of being emotionally healthy — for you and the people that you care for.

Trying to put a person in a box of past definitions will only stunt their growth.

Having an evolving view of a person can make it easier to accept an apology from them. It is amazingly hard to forgive if you decline to even attempt to forget. Forgetting how a person was bad to you before and moving on to a better tomorrow is a no-brainer when building a successful relationship.

If you hold tightly to a previous impression of a person, then they lose the ability to impress you. If they do something new and awesome, then you will be stuck feeling sour that you were wrong about them instead of being happy for their accomplishments.These skills are especially important in long term relationships, like with family members. These are the people that you will see the most overall change in. Many friendships can become faulty because you thought you knew someone, and now they have angered you by changing and proving you wrong.

The good news is that despite the saying about first impressions, a well developed relationship lets us continue to discover each other.

People change and grow, and relationships should follow suit. They key to successfully getting to know someone is accepting that you will never completely finish.

Chloe Kincaid is a student at Soldotna High School.

More in News

COVID-19 (Image courtesy CDC)
State reports 3 more COVID deaths, more than 900 cases

The newly reported deaths push Alaska’s total to 594 COVID fatalities since the beginning of the pandemic.

In this July 1908 photograph provided by the U.S. Coast Guard Historian’s Office, the U.S. Revenue Cutter Bear sits at anchor while on Bering Sea Patrol off Alaska. The wreckage of the storied vessel, that served in two World Wars and patrolled frigid Arctic waters for decades, has been found, the Coast Guard said Tuesday, Oct. 12, 2021. (U.S. Coast Guard Historian’s Office via AP)
Coast Guard: Wreck found in Atlantic is storied cutter Bear

The ship performed patrols in waters off Alaska for decades.

The Federal Aviation Administration released an initiative to improve flight safety in Alaska for all aviation on Oct. 14, 2021. (Peter Segall / Juneau Empire File)
FAA releases Alaska aviation safety initiatives

The recommendations, covering five areas, range from improvements in hardware to data-gathering.

Kyle Kornelis speaks at a public meeting about the Runway 7-25 Rehabilitation Project on Tuesday, May 4, 2021 in Soldotna, Alaska. (Ashlyn O’Hara/Peninsula Clarion)
Soldotna airport unveils revamped runway

Runway 7-25 was temporarily closed earlier this year while it underwent renovations.

Alaska Redistricting Board Director Peter Torkelson speaks at a redistricting open house on Thursday, Oct. 14, 2021 in Soldotna, Alaska. (Ashlyn O’Hara/Peninsula Clarion)
Alaska Redistricting Board Director Peter Torkelson speaks at a redistricting open house on Thursday, Oct. 14, 2021 in Soldotna, Alaska. (Ashlyn O’Hara/Peninsula Clarion)
Redistricting proposals draw concerns from local residents

The state is seeking feedback on the best way to redraw the state’s legislative district boundaries in the wake of the 2020 census.

Signs advertising COVID-19 safety protocoals stand outside the Soldotna Regional Sports Complex on Oct. 6, 2020, in Soldotna, Alaska. (Photo by Erin Thompson/Peninsula Clarion)
Ordinance seeks more funding for sports complex renovations

Approved for introduction by the Soldotna City Council during their Oct. 13 meeting, the legislation would put an extra $583,000 toward the project

Most Read