Verbatim: Friendship is moving beyond first impressions

  • By Chloe Kincaid
  • Sunday, January 25, 2015 7:16pm
  • NewsSchools

Have you ever given someone a really bad first impression of you? I have, and I wished that I could do it over. But, as everyone knows, you don’t get a second chance at a first impression. First impressions are the kickstarters of a relationship, for better or for worse.

Some relationships, like acquaintances, never move past the first impression. However, the knowledge that comes with true friendship allows you to get a chance to change someone’s perception of you. Friendships are really just long term do overs. People will come to understand each other better over time. A beautiful and absolutely necessary part of friendship is that the relationship is constantly changing.

Most friendships fall apart because the participants are holding onto a false perception of each other — a previous impression. The other person had changed, but we continue to judge them based on past experiences.

Keeping an open mind and acknowledging that the person is bound to change will keep you (and them) happier. When I find out that I am wrong about something, I get pretty upset. So why would I set myself up for the trouble of learning that I didn’t know someone inside out? Accepting that everyone grows is an important step of being emotionally healthy — for you and the people that you care for.

Trying to put a person in a box of past definitions will only stunt their growth.

Having an evolving view of a person can make it easier to accept an apology from them. It is amazingly hard to forgive if you decline to even attempt to forget. Forgetting how a person was bad to you before and moving on to a better tomorrow is a no-brainer when building a successful relationship.

If you hold tightly to a previous impression of a person, then they lose the ability to impress you. If they do something new and awesome, then you will be stuck feeling sour that you were wrong about them instead of being happy for their accomplishments.These skills are especially important in long term relationships, like with family members. These are the people that you will see the most overall change in. Many friendships can become faulty because you thought you knew someone, and now they have angered you by changing and proving you wrong.

The good news is that despite the saying about first impressions, a well developed relationship lets us continue to discover each other.

People change and grow, and relationships should follow suit. They key to successfully getting to know someone is accepting that you will never completely finish.

Chloe Kincaid is a student at Soldotna High School.

More in News

Jake Dye/Peninsula Clarion
Pool manager and swim coach Will Hubler leads a treading water exercise at Kenai Central High School on Tuesday.
Pools, theaters, libraries in jeopardy as cuts loom

The district issued “notices of non-retention” to all its pool managers, library aides and theater technicians.

A sockeye salmon is pictured in Kenai, Alaska, on Tuesday, July 25, 2023. (Jake Dye/Peninsula Clarion)
Fishing slow on Russian River, improving on Kenai

Northern Kenai fishing report for Tuesday, June 17.

Josiah Kelly, right, appears for a superior court arraignment at the Kenai Courthouse in Kenai, Alaska, on Tuesday, Nov. 26, 2024. (Jake Dye/Peninsula Clarion)
Anchor Point man accepts plea deal for November shootings

Buildings operated by a local health clinic and an addiction recovery nonprofit were targeted.

A demonstrator holds up a sign during the “No Kings” protest on Saturday, June 14, 2025, at WKFL Park in Homer, Alaska. (Chloe Pleznac/Homer News)
Homer hits the streets to say ‘No Kings’

Around 700 gathered locally as part of a nationwide protest.

Brooklyn Coleman, right, staffs The Squeeze Squad lemonade stand during Lemonade Day in Soldotna, Alaska, on Saturday, June 14, 2025. (Jake Dye/Peninsula Clarion)
Kids learn business skills at annual Lemonade Day

Around 40 stands were strewn around Soldotna, Kenai, Nikiski and Sterling for the event.

Planes are showcased at the Kenai Air Fair in Kenai, Alaska, on Saturday, June 14, 2025. (Jake Dye/Peninsula Clarion)
Kenai fair shows off aircraft of all kinds

Cargo planes to helicopters were on display Saturday.

David Meyer. Photo courtesy of Chantrelle Meyer
Volunteers continue search for missing Happy Valley man

David Meyer was reported missing June 11 while kayaking in Cook Inlet.

Boats at Douglas Harbor under mostly clear skies on Sunday, June 15, 2025. (Mark Sabbatini / Juneau Empire)
80°F in Juneau will trigger first-ever National Weather Service heat advisories

Officials say sun’s angle in Alaska makes temperatures feel higher compared to other states.

People carrying flags and signs line the Sterling Highway for a “No Kings” protest in Soldotna, Alaska, on Saturday, June 14, 2025. (Jake Dye/Peninsula Clarion)
Soldotna ‘No Kings’ protest draws hundreds

The nationwide protest came the same day as a military parade organized at the behest of the Trump administration.

Most Read