“In the spring when kings march out to war … David remained in Jerusalem.” 2 Samuel 11.1
“The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home.”
— Confucius
Just a couple of months after Kristy and I got married, we were driving to Atlanta one Saturday night with a college friend to help a small church plant. I was behind the wheel of our old-but-new-to-us Buick LeSabre.
Rain was coming down in sheets, but I was coasting along, unaware of any danger — until we hit a patch of water and started fishtailing. We had hydroplaned and in seconds, we spun two and a half times before slamming into the center median.
When we stopped, we were facing the wrong way in the fast lane — one headlight out, rain pounding, traffic rushing toward us. A car swerved at the last second, barely missing us.
We scrambled out, called the troopers, and stood there shaking — grateful we were alive.
Looking back, I learned an important lesson: Coasting can get you into trouble. When you coast, you’re toast. And that’s especially true when it comes to your inner life.
The best (and worst) example of coasting is King David. At a time when kings were expected to be on the battlefield, David stayed home. In the height of his success, he coasted — and it led to a downward spiral: He neglected his responsibility, sexually exploited another man’s wife, tried to cover it up, arranged for the man’s death, and then rationalized it all as just another casualty of war.
David got toasted because he coasted. And he wasn’t the only one who paid the price. His choices left scars on his children and set in motion years of family pain and political instability.
David’s story reminds us that even if we’re “winning” at work, we can still be losing where it matters most — at home. It’s easy to hit goals, build a career, and manage an image while quietly letting integrity slip away. At work, results often matter more than integrity — but at home, the people closest to you know who you really are.
Winning at work but losing at home is still losing.
So ask yourself: Is your outer life able to support the decisions your inner life is making?
A helpful exercise is to put a “price tag” on your coasting. Write down the names of the people who will be most affected if you start coasting spiritually, morally, or relationally. Sometimes seeing who pays the bill is enough to wake us up.
Your home is where your children learn to develop deep character — and your inner life sets the tone for theirs.
In your corner,
Shep
Andrew and Kristy Miller, along with their seven children, live in Sterling and serve at Sterling Baptist Church located at the corner of Swanson River Road and the Sterling Highway. Family worship is at 11 a.m. on Sundays.
Discussion Questions:
1. Growing up, were you ever affected by someone else’s poor decisions? 2. How are you still experiencing the ripple effects of those choices today? 3. In what ways are those ripples shaping your closest relationships? 4. What shifts do you need to make to keep from passing on those ripples?
