The Alaska Golf Association Peninsula Jackpot took place this past weekend. The weather was less than wonderful Saturday in Kenai but by Sunday’s round in Soldotna the sunshine had returned. Pat Cowan and I paired to finish well behind the leaders, but we expertly drank away some of our more challenging moments by the end of the tournament. We were so far off the pace I literally have no idea who won the tournament!

Birch Ridge Golf Course and its miniature duffers would like to thank the AGA (Jeff Barnhardt) for coming down to the Peninsula and hosting this junior golf fundraiser. The monies will be well spent!

There is so much more exhilarating golf news to tell you about but I’m going to save it for next week’s Birch Ridge Golf Report to create some additional suspense for our readers. Either that or the deadline for turning this column in has passed already and I’m way behind schedule today. It’s a mystery!

Old Folks Golf

The old folks forgot to leave any information about Monday Morning Senior play. Surprising, I know. … Fortunately for the loyal Clarion faithful, I’ve been doing this for a while now and can just assume what theatrics took place. Darell “Cool Hand” Jelsma likely posted the lowest tally. Ray “Rocket” Richel likely hit an incredibly complicated golf shot. Don “Super Seahawk” McGhee likely found Ray’s wayward golf ball in the woods. Chuck “Easy” Rider likely has the best nickname. These are just a few things we can assume took place.

Tuesday Morning Ladies League

Tanna “First Lady” Chenault paired with “Fast” Teresa Sibolboro and Diane Simmons to crush the other women that foolishly attended Tuesday Morning Ladies thinking they had a chance at victory. Sally Tachick, Val “Dilly Bar” Ischi, Susan Jelsma and Irma Peterson came in a distant second. Kathy Herring hit the greatest shot of the day leading to closest-to honors at the eighth. Nineteen ladies showed up, including one our beloved miniature duffers for potluck play.

Thursday Night Couples

Darell and Susan Jelsma were up to their old tricks Thursday night when the madly, and I want to emphasize madly, in love golfers arrived for couples golf. The Jelsma’s net 28.5 distanced themselves from their nearest competitors, Dennis and Diane Simmons. Golfers took their vows on the first tee deciding to take the best-ball score on six holes and the worst-ball score on three holes. No divorces were reported but one major fight did take place. That actually didn’t happen but I’m personally hoping to create a game that produces some fireworks one of these days.

Golf Joke of the Week

Barb was a determined golfer, if not a very proficient player. With each errant swipe at the ball chunks of earth flew in all directions.

“Gracious me,” she exclaimed red-faced to her husband, “the worms will think there’s an earthquake!”

“I don’t know,” he replied, “the worms around here are very clever. I’ll bet most of them are hiding underneath the ball for safety.”