There’s just one tournament left on the 2014 calendar. Sad! The Cold Weather Classic is set for Sept. 20. The two-person event pairs a man and woman in an epic golf showdown to determine who will be crowned “Ice Queen and Servant” for the year.

OK, I totally made that up, The Cold Weather Classic actually a fun golf event. No one is harmed during the course of play, I promise. You can join the fun by signing up to participate at the golf course and then arriving for your scheduled tee time on the 20th. It’s that simple. Who said golf was hard?! Be there or be square!

Despite the increasingly depressing weather the golf course will remain open for as long as possible. There is no set closing date. I’m rooting for November! Don’t laugh. It’s happened before!

Old Folks Golf

Nine brave warriors of golf ventured out to battle the elements and themselves for the final time Monday morning. Sid Cox won the hearts of many women with a daring 31 net. Sid’s score bested Pat McElroy by a single swing of the golf club. Earl “The Pearl” Matthis hit a groovy shot at the sixth for closest-to recognition. Tom “The Lovable Lefty” Hodel rolled in the longest putt at the finishing hole. Steve Hammarstrom participated.

Tuesday Morning Ladies League

Chiya Bazan, Beth Roseberry, Sally Tachick and Cheryl Hammarstrom crushed the other women and let them know about it with a resounding performance Tuesday morning. It was like a fireworks display as each took turns throwing darts at the pins. Startling indeed. Georgia Bentley was the mystery golfer. What does that mean? It’s a mystery.

Thursday Night Couples

The couples’ poor luck with weather continued as yet another Couples Night was rained out. Next Thursday will be the final Couples Night of the year!

Non-Golf Joke of the Week

Three old Alaska homesteaders were sitting around a blazing campfire exchanging tall tales about how tough they once were.

“I was hiking through some willows,” began the first old-timer, “when 10-foot-tall bull moose with a 90-inch rack stormed out of a thicket and charged me. I grabbed him by the antlers and wrestled him to the ground and beat him senseless.”

“That’s nothing,” said the second. “I was fishing in the Yukon River when a 2,000-pound grizzly bear came after me and my catch. I ducked as he swiped at me, jumped on his back, and strangled him with my bare hands.”

They both turned to their friend, the oldest of the group, waiting for his story. Still he said nothing — he just sat there stirring the coals with his bare hand.