A quick update on a busy July tournament schedule. ConocoPhillips is holding a nine-hole scramble Friday. Play will start at 8 a.m. We anticipate having the golf course open for regular play around 10 a.m.

The Birch Ridge Golf Association All-Alaska Pro-Am and Skins Game is set for next Monday. The golf course is closed for the day to regular play. Golf will begin at 10 a.m. and Wells Fargo employees will host a community barbecue following play. The Skins Game, which is open to the public for viewing, should begin around 4 p.m.

The Seward Seahawks Booster Club hosts their annual 18-hole scramble on July 18. The following Monday and Tuesday, Birch Ridge Golf Course is hosting the Alaska Junior Golf Association Soldotna Junior Masters. This two-day event is comprised of the top junior golf talent from all over the state.

Our merry band of grass aficionados are working hard to get the golf course in mint condition for this weekend’s events. If you’re not a tournament golfer, but you want to see Birch Ridge in its best condition, next Tuesday, the day after the All-Alaska Pro-Am, is the day to play! We’re verticutting the greens multiple times this week to really pick up the pace!

Old Folks Golf

Tim “Doc” Bowser took low net for the second consecutive Monday during old persons play. Bowser’s gross 42 converted to a sensational net 29! The Doctor has posted a combined total of 60 in his last two senior league outings. Surely, the rest of the socially secured golfers are left dumbstruck recounting Bowser’s feats of golfing greatness around the water cooler.

Vic “Hail Mary” Hussey and Mike Hollingsworth were the only two golfers to stay within five strokes of Bowser’s surgical dismantling of the field. Hollingsworth captured closest-to honors at the sixth and eighth, taking some of Bowser’s glory. Steve Hammarstrom rolled in the longest putt at the ninth. Fifteen grizzled golf veterans participated in the blood bath.

Tuesday Morning Ladies League

The women did not leave any information relating to their golf performance Tuesday morning. We can attribute this to a number of reasons, none of which with 100 percent certainty.

Thursday Night Couples

The Couples crew reverted back to golf rules they used to play by when they were kids. Golfers weren’t allowed to mark their ball on the green, so stymies were in play. Tees were strictly prohibited, which made for some interestingly curved golf shots. Rangefinders were also banned. Vic “Hail Mary” Hussey paired with Margaret “You’ve Got Mail” Stanley for a resounding victory. The duo posted a sparkling net 29 in Scotch Double play. The Jelsmas and Chenaults, as hard as they may have tried, were unable to match the Hussey-Stanley twosome, finishing T-2 with net 33s. The Cowans and Tachicks received participation ribbons.

Joke of the Week

In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft. … Today, in civilized society, it’s called golf.