When an older pastor was asked by a father if his young children would chose to remain part of his family after they grew up, the pastor answered “If you want your children to remain part of your family, then make it a family they want to be part of.”
Some of us left our families to come to Alaska. Here, we are not as close to family as we would like to be. Thank goodness for cell phones and FaceTime. Our own children often grow up and move away. That is often where life takes young people. They move away for adventure or for education or perhaps for the military or a great job opportunity. I moved to Alaska away from my parents in another state. But I always have had the deepest respect and love for them. Several of my adult sons moved from Alaska to another state. However, we are all still part of our family. We really like getting together.
Probably a worse scenario is estrangement of family members. As a pastor, I have heard from families whose adult children never visit. That sorrows me.
The apostle Paul wrote about how we need to live if we are to get along with each other.
What Paul wrote in Ephesians 5:18-25 is a wonderful start to good relationships. He starts out by saying do not get drunk with wine but be filled with the Spirit,
“…speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your hearts to the Lord; always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to our God and Father, and subject yourselves to one another in the fear of Christ.”
Obviously, a home in which the family is singing, sharing beautiful psalms with each other and making melody while expressing thanksgiving is an upbeat, positive home. It is obviously grounded in the love of God and in a living faith.
But the foundational principle of these family relationships is found in verse 21: “and subject yourselves to one another in the fear of Christ.”
Fear of Christ really means “reverence for Christ.” In other words, all we do and say is colored by our love of Christ and the respect and love he inspires in all of us for other people. To live in harmony, we cannot be self-centered. We must yield to each other and subject our preferences to the needs and preferences of others. We do that that in reverence to the selfless love, which Christ taught.
If we want long lasting family relationships, start early to create a family in Christ.
“A family that prays together stays together.”
As the old pastor said: “If you want your children to remain part of your family, then make it a family they want to be part of.”
Dr. Roger Holl is pastor of Sterling Grace Community Church, which meets Sundays at 10:30 a.m. at the Sterling Senior Center.
