Birch Ridge Golf Report: Welcome rain, thank you firefighters

  • By Nolan Rose
  • Friday, May 30, 2014 12:10am
  • Sports

Has rain ever felt so good? The community, and the golf course, finally received some much needed wet stuff this week.

Of course, all of our eyes have been glued to the Funny River Fire. It’s incredible that to this point not a single home has been lost and zero injuries have been reported.

The men and women fighting this fire have done a remarkable job. It seems like the worst of the fire is behind us (knock on beetle-killed wood) and that’s very uplifting news. We’re all very thankful for their heroism.

The miniature duffers are three days into the Hook-a-Kid-on-Golf camp. It’s another fantastic group this year. The kids are all very well behaved and enthusiastic. It’s always a delight to see new youth golfers out at the golf course.

The camp provides a set of golf clubs and all the necessary equipment for the kids to get started free of charge! A special thank you goes to Bob Sizemore for all he does to organize and promote this camp. Our wonderful golf community is what it is because of the efforts of folks like Bob Sizemore.

The 18th green will be open for play this Friday. So we’ll be on all 10 greens for the first time this season. I realize that sounds funny but that’s nine-hole golf in Alaska for you!

We’re really excited about our turf conditions this summer. Obviously we benefited from an early spring which allowed us to punch, sand, and seed the greens much sooner than normal. Thoroughly “working” the greens is a necessary process to have quality putting surfaces all summer long.

We appreciate the patience our golfers have expressed. There are no shortcuts. It takes a short bit of time and a lot of hard work from our merry band of grass aficionados.

Junior Camps at Birch Ridge Golf Course

The Birch Ridge Golf Association Junior Golf Camp is fast approaching. Registration forms are available on our website ( or you can visit the pro shop. We are well on our way to having a great turnout again this year.

The camp runs June 9 to 13 from 8 to 10:30 a.m. each morning. The BRGA camp differs from the Hook-a-Kid-on-Golf camp in our approach to teaching the mini mulligans.

The HAKOG is an introductory camp for beginning golfers. The BRGA camp is attended primarily by junior golfers that have golf experience and the level of instruction and expectation is adjusted accordingly. BRGA camp has benefited an incredible number of high level golfers over the years.

Old Folks Golf

The Boedeker family continued their monthlong domination of Birch Ridge Golf Course on Tuesday morning when the seniors convened for another volley of scintillating golf action. Tom “Twinkle Toes” Boedeker captured low net and the long putt at the ninth with a dazzling display of golf dexterity.

As brilliant as Tom can be, his efforts were overshadowed by Darell Jelsma, who hit the shot of the day. Jelsma sunk a 140-yard bomb from the second fairway for an eagle two! His wife’s hole-in-one caliber coconut cream pie only adds to Darell’s good fortune.

Tuesday Morning Ladies League

The delicate damsels of Birch Ridge were up to their old tricks Tuesday. Sally Tachick, Susan Jelsma and Chiya Bazan paired to form an unbeatable trio of talented golfers on their way to low net honors. Cheryl Hammarstrom had the best poker hand. What does that mean on a golf course? I have no idea! Tanya Boedeker upheld the lofty expectations set by her husband, Tom, by capturing mystery hole glory.

Thursday Night Couples

There was all sorts of intrigue last Thursday during the latest chapter of lovers’ golf. Scoring proved to be a challenge for the contestants as they competed in an intense Ménage-a-Trois golf match. I’m not going to get into details, but apparently the golf version was as complex as the real thing!

At the end of the evening Charlie Weimer and his beautiful wife, Lore, were crowned King and Queen of Couples golf. Which pair of lovers will claim the crown this week? The suspense is killing me.

Golf Joke of the Week

Tiger Woods is attending a charity dinner and is seated next to Stevie Wonder. They get to chatting and eventually the conversation turns to golf and Tiger’s recent performances. After hearing some of Stevie’s comments and advice Tiger pointedly asks, “Oh, you play do you?” To which Stevie replies “Actually, I do”.

“Oh”, says Tiger amused, “How do you manage that?”

“Well”, says Stevie, “My caddy just stands down the fairway in line with the flag and calls out ‘This way sir,’ and I just hit the ball toward his voice.”

“Wow,” says Tiger, disbelieving, “so, how do you putt?”

“Same thing,” says Stevie. “My caddy stands on the other side of the hole and calls out, ‘Over here Stevie, 8 yards’ and I just putt to his voice.”

“Wow,” says Tiger, getting interested. “So, what’s your handicap? If you don’t mind me asking?”

“Oh,” says Stevie. “I’m a scratch golfer”.

“Wow!” says Tiger, stunned. “Fancy a game sometime this week? $10,000 a hole?”

“Sure,” says Stevie casually. “Sounds like fun!”

“Great!” says Tiger “What time suits you?”

“Oh,” replies Stevie. “Any night will do”.

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