April is Child Abuse Prevention month.
Prior to COVID-19, nearly 10 Alaskan children experience child abuse and neglect on any given day. Today, as we all face these very challenging times, this number could increase immensely. The risk factors that place children in harm’s way are magnified due to COVID-19.
All the safe havens, like school and after-school programs, are no longer accessible to children. Children have little to no contact with mandatory reporters. Families are faced with unemployment, food insecurity, loss of housing, getting sick without health insurance, and much more. Parents are wearing new hats like being a classroom teacher, mental health counselor, and 24/7 care provider.
Life is like an elastic band. When an individual experiences any one of these stressors or anxiety, tension is added to the band. If the individual does not have the knowledge, skill, support or resources to release that tension, it remains. The band continues to stretch as each stressor is experienced until it finally can no longer stay strong and breaks. And that is when someone, like a child, is hurt. In the new normal, many of these stressors are happening simultaneously, placing many children and families at risk.
One of the first things parents can do to reduce the tension on their band is to give themselves some grace. No one is a perfect parent and all parents are experiencing many of the similar challenges and frustrations you are experiencing. You are not alone. Like flight attendants tell us during their safety briefing “If oxygen masks drop, please put your mask on first and then assist your child.” The same philosophy is true during these challenging times. Remember to include time for yourself — even if it is just five minutes a day. Do something for yourself that brings a smile to your face and calmness. It is OK to distance yourself from your children and take that needed break. Find ways to let out your frustration in a productive manner. And try coping mechanisms that provide you strength and resilience versus harmful ones like alcohol (over 80% of all child abuse cases involve substance misuse).
Most of us communicate through behavior rather than words. When a child is acting out, it is most likely a sign of their own stress and anxiety. Before it happens, teach them breathing techniques like 4x4x4. Breath in for four seconds, hold for four seconds and exhale for four seconds. Repeat three to four times. Practice this with your children like you do fire drills. So when they begin to fall apart, you and them are both ready to do the breathing exercise.
Talk about the current situation and why we are all hunkered down. Watch a movie or read a book where the character(s) face a challenge and compare it to today’s situation. And don’t over promise. Don’t say things will be back to normal in two weeks when you know that is not the case.
Exercise is a great tool for you and them. Prior to starting a task when you need your child to focus, have them be physically active for 20-30 minutes. It will allow them to be more focused. When possible, give your child a voice. Don’t just tell them what to do, give them appropriate options. The more they feel in control of their life, like you and I, the less stress they will feel.
Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Help is three numbers away, 2-1-1. If you need food, information on COVID-19, or just someone to talk with, 2-1-1 can help find you a resource.
Keeping children safe is a common thread that binds us all together. It takes a community to raise a child. If you are concerned about a child, it is still our responsibility as community members to report it (800-478-4444) or email ReportChildAbuse@alaska.gov.
To help your fellow Alaskan, take a moment to post a video on social media on how you are being resilient during these challenging times. Share a tip, an activity or some words of wisdom and use #Resilient19. Find us on Facebook to find resources and a shared community.
We are in this together. And together, we can prevent child abuse and neglect.
Trevor Storrs is the President/CEO of the Alaska Children’s Trust (ACT), the lead statewide agency that addresses the prevention of child abuse and neglect. Since its conception, ACT has led the way in building awareness, providing education, and bringing communities together statewide to prevent child abuse and neglect. ACT recognizes that the healthy child development is an essential building block for community and economic development.
• Trevor Storrs, Alaska Children’s Trust president/CEO
