Repairing a road makes it more dangerous

Commuting to work is like driving in the Death Wish 500, especially now that road crews are toiling along the route I take. The road’s 55 mph limit, which nobody ever paid attention to, is 45 mph for the time being.

I hope it’s for the time being, because most of the few people who actually drove 55 before are still ripping along at 55 – this despite copious signs and warnings that driving above the new limit would cost a minimum of $100,000.

OK, perhaps the minimum fine is just $100, but as far as traffic tickets go, a miss is as good as a mile, or some nearly appropriate aphorism. My wife says I don’t have $100 to throw away, and she knows these things pretty well.

Even I will concede that 45 mph is much too slow for that road, which, for reasons known only to the National Asso­­ciation of Road, Street, Ave­nue, Boulevard and Al­ley Names, has been designated River Watch Park­way.

You see, to catch even a glimpse of the river, you have to wait until all the leaves have fallen off the trees and you are perched atop your car, steering by ropes tied to the steering wheel.

What, you don’t believe that? That appears to be the way many of the commuters are driving already along that stretch. They have always blocked the passing lane and dared you to try to get around them and the right-lane drivers they have aligned with. Now, when your act of passing a car going 44 mph is such a drawn-out affair, they ride your back bumper on their attempt to win any given day’s River Watch Parkway Rally.

To be fair, I have noticed that a few drivers are trying to drive safely because of the sections of closed lane, orange cones and highway workers whose lives must be flashing before their eyes. These drivers stay in the slow lane, follow the rules and hope to live another day. I applaud these motorists, which makes it difficult to keep my hands at the 10-and-2 positions on the wheel.

This reminds me of the observation by every stand-up comedian everywhere: Did you ever notice (or maybe that whiny opening came from 60 Minutes’ Andy Rooney) that we park in a driveway but drive on a parkway? I’m pretty sure either maneuver would bring up blue lights in our rear-view mirror.

My stepson and his wife recently replaced a light fixture in their basement, and I helped. (Webster’s defines “helped” as “held the flashlight.”)

This fixture had a bulb I had never seen before – and still haven’t.

An LED bulb was sealed inside; when it burns out, the whole unit must be replaced. The thing is, the bulb has a 42-year warranty, so they can throw away their flashlight.

Perhaps that bulb is better than obsolete 100-watters, but it’s relatively new science, and no LED bulb has ever lasted 42 years, so how do they know?

How do they know?

Reach Glynn Moore at

More in Life

Nick Varney
Unhinged Alaska: A Christmas artist and a cyber safari

My attempts at adornment layouts come across as being colorfully sculptured landfills

Minister’s Message: Keep your faith focused on Jesus

Don’t let fear make you slip from faith

Hip-Hop students practice their routines for Forever Christmas on Monday, Nov. 28, 2022, at Forever Dance in Soldotna, Alaska. (Jake Dye/Peninsula Clarion)
Forever Dance rings in the holidays with variety show

The show serves as a fun holiday tradition and an opportunity to get on stage early in the season

Image courtesy 20th Century 
Ralph Fiennes is Chef Julien Slowik and Anya Taylor-Joy is Margot in “The Menu”
On the Screen: ‘The Menu’ serves up fun twists and earnest commentary

I was plenty interested in the film I saw in the trailers, but the one I saw at the theater was so much more

Golden Soup mixes cauliflower, onions and apples and can be made in one pot. (Photo by Tressa Dale/Peninsula Clarion)
Golden soup offers a healthy reprieve after holiday indulgence

On the off days between the trips and celebrations I find it necessary to eat strategically

Photo courtesy of the National Archives 
This photo and information from a “prison book” at San Quentin state prison in California shows Arthur Vernon Watson when he entered the prison at age 23.
Justice wasn’t elementary, Watson, Part 2

Well before he shot and killed a man in Soldotna in 1961, Arthur Vernon Watson was considered trouble

Virginia Walters (Courtesy photo)
Life in the Pedestrian Lane: Thanksgiving

We at least have a good idea of what our political future looks like.

This is Arthur Vernon Watson at age 39, when he was transferred from the federal prison in Atlanta to the penitentiary on Alcatraz Island near San Francisco. (Photo courtesy of the National Archives)
Justice wasn’t elementary, Watson, Part 3

Anchorage probation officer Roy V. Norquist was monitoring Arthur’s movements and reported that he was pleased with what he saw

Most Read