Beating the bully in the work place

Beating the bully in the work place

Sometimes, you feel like you’re back in Sixth Grade.

But you’re not – you’re at work, dealing with the same kind of bully you faced in the schoolyard. It’s just as frustrating now as it was then, but what can you do? You don’t have a teacher to run to, so read “Beating the Workplace Bully” by Lynne Curry instead.

Once you graduated from high school, you figured you were done with those thugs who ruled the playground. But, says Curry, “Bullies and targets exist at all levels and in many organizations” and she can help the latter deal with the former. So what can you do when you’re on the receiving end of a workplace bully?

First, Curry says, remember that, though “no one deserves to be bullied,” it’s “epidemic.” Ninety-six percent of respondents to a 2014 poll reported problems of bullying at work. It’s wise, therefore, to know why you’re a part of that majority.

Next, understand that problems with co-workers don’t just “go away.” If there’s bully in the next cubicle, strive to break old habits and diffuse what’s making you a target. Know what kind of bully you’re dealing with, expand your comfort zone to prepare yourself for what needs to be done, and learn how to empower yourself and “confront confrontation” without stooping to a bully’s level.

Stop playing the bully’s game by recognizing the eight “most common bully traps” and the tactics s/he uses to get under your skin. Don’t let your tormenter have any space in your brain; try to remain calm, neutral, and don’t get angry! Learn the power of the word “REALLY?” Be willing to take notes, note witnesses, and document, document, document. If you notice that colleagues are also having issues with this particular bully, enlist allies and ask for reinforcements.

And finally, if you’re the boss with a bully on your staff, know how to handle what could become a very thorny situation for you and your business. Above all, remember: “don’t play nice – you can’t afford it.”

Oh, how I wish I’d had a book like “Beating the Workplace Bully” back when I needed it! I’m sure it would’ve saved a lot of sleepless nights, job-jumping, and productivity loss, because author Lynne Curry’s advice is solid and straightforward without being rash or antagonizing. And that, as you’ll see here, is exactly what you need to deal with this all-too-common problem.

Curry teaches a certain kind of stand-up-for-yourself Zen in this book, starting with basic hand-holding and moving on to what amounts to guerilla tactics with a lace glove. She also offers a series of quizzes at the end of each chapter, to help readers determine where they sit and what’s next. I found those particularly helpful, and I loved reading the case-studies that accompany each chapter and point.

This is one of those books that you won’t regret having on your shelf, even if you don’t need it right now – because when you do, “Beating the Workplace Bully” will have you well-schooled.

The Bookworm is Terri Schlichenmeyer. Email her at bookwormsez@gmail.com.

More in Life

Will Morrow (courtesy)
Springing ahead

I’m not ready to spring ahead

Murder suspect William Dempsey is pictured shortly after he was captured on the outskirts of Seward in early September 1919. (Photo courtesy of the University of Alaska Fairbanks archives)
A Nexus of Lives and Lies: The William Dempsey story — Part 8

Dempsey spent more than a decade attempting to persuade a judge to recommend him for executive clemency

Promotional image via the Performing Arts Society
Saturday concert puts jazz, attitude on stage

Lohmeyer is a former local music teacher

The author holds a copy of Greta Thunberg’s, “No One Is Too Small to Make a Difference,” inside the Peninsula Clarion building on Wednesday, March 22, 2023, in Kenai, Alaska. (Ashlyn O’Hara/Peninsula Clarion)
Off the Shelf: Thunberg speeches pack a punch

“No One Is Too Small to Make A Difference” is a compilation of 16 essays given by the climate activist

White chocolate cranberry cake is served with fresh cranberries. (Photo by Tressa Dale/Peninsula Clarion)
Hard-to-ruin cranberry cake

This white chocolate cranberry cake is easy to make and hard to ruin — perfect for my students aged 3, 6, 7 and 7.

Virginia Walters (Courtesy photo)
Life in the Pedestrian Lane: It’s March

March is the trickster month, probably why we see so much raven activity these days

After Pres. Woodrow Wilson commuted his death sentence to life in prison, William Dempsey (inmate #3572) was delivered from Alaska to the federal penitentiary on McNeil Island, Wash. These were his intake photos. (Photo courtesy of the University of Alaska Fairbanks archives)
A Nexus of Lives and Lies: The William Dempsey story — Part 7

The opening line of Dempsey’s first letter to Bunnell — dated March 19, 1926 — got right to the point

Bella Ramsey as Ellie and Pedro Pascal as Joel in “The Last of Us.” (Photo courtesy HBO)
On the Screen: ‘The Last of Us’ perfectly adapts a masterpiece

HBO unquestionably knew they had a hit on their hands

Chocolate cake is topped with white chocolate cream cheese frosting. (Photo by Tressa Dale/Peninsula Clarion)
A cake topped with love (and white chocolate cream cheese)

He loved the frosting so much he said he never wants anything else on his cake

Most Read