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Way before soccer moms became popular there was My Mom. I've got to give her credit though, because she never nagged me to join a sport. She simply ordered me to "Go outside and play."

Because our neighborhood was overrun with boys, one of the rough and tumble games I learned was baseball, and I loved it. Therefore, when all my little girlfriends at school were working on their pirouettes and cheers, I was working on the finer points of spitting and chanting "Hey, batter-batter!"

When my mom learned that I wanted to join a real baseball team she didn't get me a personal trainer or suggest I try the more acceptable form of the game ? girls softball. Nope, my mom bought herself a glove and signed up for a coaching course. I think she had some inkling I'd need all the support I could get. I still remember her pitching a fit and crying "foul" when the umpire got all fussy about requiring all the players to wear a cup.

Maybe I'm dating myself here, but in the early '70s it seemed to me that most moms were busy getting liberated and doing things like playing women's softball, striving to bring home half the bacon and trying to motivate their spouses to do half the housework. Not my mom. She bowled on a co-ed league and regularly plopped herself on the couch after a long day of work and asked my dad, "So what's for dinner?" After I grew bored with baseball, I joined a soccer team, then the swim team and I loved to run like a racehorse on the track. Since mom and dad had busy schedules, I got a new bike so I could get myself to my various practices.

By the time I became a mom, I was entirely too busy juggling activities and work to worry about gender roles. We all pitched in because we had to. The kids cooperated by choosing sports my hubby and I knew something about. Need a soccer coach? You got it. Horseback riding? First we need to get a horse and you can use all your allowance until you are 36 to help pay for feed, shoeing and vaccinations. Swim team? Sure! You want to play baseball? Where do we sign up! Karate? Why not? You're bored? Go outside and play ? and NO cleats on the linoleum and take the trash out while you're at it.

Then child No. 5 joined the Michels team. From the start, he did things his own way. Instead of waiting for nine months, he arrived in the sixth inning. While other friends were contemplating their children's athletic aptitudes, we were worried about every breath he took. Somewhere along the line we noticed that cool, moist air helped him breathe easier. As soon as he was big enough to fit into a pair of ice skates, we signed him up for Saturday lessons. It seemed a given that our boy would become a hockey player. I eyed the hockey mom license plates at the sports center with wonder. Would I develop nice biceps lugging all that gear one day? Would we have to take out a second mortgage when he decided to play on a comp team? Could I continue to be a good sport about working full time and still be a full-time mom? And a small voice deep inside of me wondered, would I be dropping the ball on all the progress women have made in the workplace if I decided to have to work only one full-time job?

I eventually opted to work part time and on my own schedule (thanks to the Clarion) as my son diligently pursued his vocation as a full-time kid and part-time figure skater. This year we did give him the option of playing hockey. After watching a few games, he decided, "No way."

What I have found to be absolutely fascinating is how (some people) feel compelled to tell us, often at great lengths, that is OK for him to be a figure skater. Umm, yes, and it's OK for you to take up yoga or go fishing with your spouse.

Hang on while I climb up on my spirited, equal rights Arabian, but double standards are applicable to both sexes. I sincerely doubt if anyone bats a CoverGirl coated eyelash when a girl decides she wants to play hockey, so why it seems necessary to launch into a discussion about hairdressers and such when it comes to my son's skating is beyond me.

Then again, there are people like Mrs. Leslie who regularly brings me articles and gives me updates about world famous skaters like Evan Lysacek or Mrs. Kathy, our beloved team seamstress. I don't need to tell Kathy to make my kid a vest instead of a skirt. She's into it and I'm glad. As I've confessed previously, I don't bake and my DNA did not come preprogrammed to know how to whip stitch.

I cannot wait for the day when I spy a dad proudly sporting a "soccer dad" t-shirt or a "ballet dad" license plate on a manly-man rig. All things being theoretically equal, why do moms get exclusive bragging rights for their children's endeavors? I say "If the skate fits, wear it!" All children (and parents) should learn to be good sports and team players, even if they have to make up a few of their own rules as they go along.

With the skating season ending and summer fast approaching Patrick has been contemplating what sport he should join this summer. So far, his plans include playing outside and riding his bike.

As for me, I'm secure in my femininity, sitting out a season so we can spend more time as family sounds delightful to me ? and my husband has no problem being a great athletic supporter.

Jacki Michels is a soccer mom dropout and a freelance writer who lives in Soldotna.